“I Do”. Oh, no… I already did. What I mean is that I already did the “I Do” part 3 seasons back.
We had a big Indian wedding, just minus ‘the elephant’. The wedding was fun, the festivities were fun. Fast forward a couple months and I was sitting thinking about this age old institution of marriage in the modern era. So I decided to write about my experience and a take on this institution hoping to motivate or maybe de-motivate people for this process, whichever fits their perception.
For starters it might seem dumb of me but I believed you just had fun, earn and roam and shop and eat. And what about the housework, some might ask. Well, I sheepishly admit I thought that when you get tired of all the roaming, and eating and shopping, fairies and magical creatures came and cleaned the house and did all the chores for you. Wouldn’t it be nice? Big no! I was disappointed by that. You can’t see my expressions and so can’t judge how I have rolled my eyes at it. Turns out you make a mess in the marriage and you clean it up, be it your clothes or your home. I was like when I said ‘I do’, I didn’t mean the laundry.
How I survived this illusion till now? All thanks to my Mom and the heaven sent maid and the laundry man and the people who bring grocery up to your door and people who come up to your door and pick the garbage and you never have to lift a finger for these things. Spoilt brat you may assume!
I learnt the ‘you do all the work yourself’ part quickly and quiet expertly, but I can still compliant. I mean I wouldn’t mind the fairies starting to come in at night to surprise me by doing all the cleaning and cooking. We all can agree that this New Year’s wish isn’t ever coming true, until someone invents an affordable robot for housework.
Second comes, living with the opposite gender. I can now understand how other animals would feel about the only animal having opposable thumbs. I mean I know, have read and heard about the universal fact that: Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. But let me break it easier for you. This is strictly from my experience. Apart from the biological obvious difference between the genders, there are many more underrated differences between the X and Y chromosomes.
While I am more focused on when or where the next party will be, I’ll stress about who are to be invited, what shall be made, what to wear, is the laundry done, when will we do the grocery; The Mister is usually worried about the bills to be paid when and how. Females would complaint about why did their partner not notice that they clipped their hair in different direction today. Males would be like, “well you don’t appreciate that I picked my own glass today for the first time”. At the end of the day he would want some alone time because he’s been at the office with so many people and he is an introvert, while I want him to sit with me as I am an extrovert and have been home alone all day. The middle ground you ask… Well let him sit in the room and shout through the walls to communicate. He’ll come out soon enough to make me stop shouting. It’s damn hilarious if you may ask and works like a charm. I should not spill all my secrets though, lest he stops responding 😉
Marriage works best when you find the middle path that is okay for the both of you. For example, I love horror movies and paranormal Tele shows; the mister, well he can’t even watch the trailer without being spooked. Middle path, I hooked him up on forensic files and psycho serial murder shows and movies. I still get the action and he doesn’t get much spooked. He likes a tidied bed when he returns from office, for me it just reminds me of a hotel room. Home is where the mess is. I love an unmade bed. Middle path, I don’t make the bed, He makes it if he wants to sit in the bedroom. I wanted to go to Rockefeller tree, he didn’t want to step in the city. Middle path, we made a deal and slept through the day. Total win. Middle path was never my thing. I liked doing things my way. Now. We both love doing things my way. Don’t judge me come on. It’s just because my way is much more fun.
Third, you learn a lot in marriage. Learn to adapt, learn to hustle. Once, unfortunately I asked the mister to get flowers returning from office. I asked him to get flowers which were not roses and not red. He got white daffodils to put in front of a white wall. Now while as a programmer he wasn’t totally wrong, I learnt not to just assume that he would take into consideration that the walls are white so white flowers won’t work. I learnt to give specific, down to the T instructions to avoid such incidents as much as possible from happening in the future. There’s no guarantee though. The misters learn and adapt a lot as well. Whenever he comes in front of me he knows that by no fault of mine, I give him so much work to do that he gets annoyed. So before the day starts on a weekend, he gets up in the morning and shouts NNDNND – National No Do, No Nothing Day. A term that he invented for such situations and I am to be bound by the fact that I can’t assign any work to him. The smart ass that he is, he learnt that quickly much to my disappointment.
Getting married is trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm from one, it’s not what I said it’s something from Google. Nothing is truer than this. After being married for around just 11 months we started cracking couple jokes, taking digs at each other. I try not to imagine what a couple years down the line do to you.
So, all in all I did the I Do part and still have to get my head around it. Or just get a job.
Share your hustles with your SO, you can comment! And yes! anybody can comment.