It’s always difficult to choose a path. Good or bad, right or wrong, walked or undiscovered. It’s always difficult. But you do. You don’t or rather you can’t walk on both. You have to choose one. You have to pick your poison.
Off lately I have had a few people in my life who gave me difficult options to choose from. And the options that I have is either to fight with them, get all hot-headed with the shouting and crying or simply stop caring and giving shit about such people by ignoring them. To be honest I have tried both.
The thing is I hate people coming up after years of silence and acting as if they care about me. I mean you can’t just turn up after years and decide that now you give a shit about my life. I want to ask a question to all of them, where you were at my times of need, or when I was happy. Do you know what makes me happy now, what is my favorite color and food?
I agree we might have been close friend, relative or confidant at some point in life. We might have spent some good times together which are still good memories for me. But I have grown as a person since the last time we possibly were close. One seriously can’t expect to barge into my life after 10 years of silence or 10 months for that matter and demand my time or my attention. I understand it is not possible to talk every day as we all are busy building our lives brick by brick, one day at a time. But the least you could have done was to maintain continuous contact to be in my life.
Since the last time we saw or talked to each other I have evolved into another person. So now you demanding things or space or asking personal questions makes me uncomfortable. Sure, I am familiar with your name and your face, but I am not familiar with you. And so now you are no different than a stranger to me. And as far as I go, I don’t share stuff with strangers. So if you have maintained a distance from my life for some time please continue doing so. I don’t hate you, it’s just that you no longer matter to me. I am indifferent to you.
In such situations one can pick either to fight and try to mend ways with the estranged friend, relative or confidant; or you can simply keep silence and ignore them. Both are poisonous options. Why poisonous? As either way you’ll be the bad guy at the end of the day. As you fought or you ignored. As much you would like to mend ways and keep the person close, you can’t as things will have changed tremendously between the both of you.
So, whatever the case maybe, you have to pick your poison.
I am writing after a long time. I was in mourning all this time. Mourning for the fact that I completed a really good book. I am a voracious reader. I devour books at a great speed. I have been reading for many years now. When in college I used to stay awake till 4:00 in the morning only because I couldn’t bring myself to put down the book and sleep, even if it meant that I will be tired the entire next day. Because of this habit I used to complete any novel in 2 days max. I buy used books in bulk and keep them ready in case I finish my book early. So in my book case I’ll always find spare books. At one point there were nearly 15 books that were left for me to read. I might be reading one book but I still keep buying others. It feels like I am cheating on the book that I am currently reading, but I can’t help it. Books make me happy.
I have been off my game for some time now. And now that I wonder why, I found that the reason behind this is a particular book that I read some 12 weeks back. I am still wrapped in the words and memories of that book. I particularly prefer foreign authors to Indian authors just because of their writing styles. But this book “Lanka’s Princess” by Kavita Kane is what has caused this book hangover that I am feeling. It’s not that I haven’t read other books after this one. But my mind keeps going back on this particular book by Kavita Kane. This is the first time I read her work and I am awed by her writing style. The book is about Ravan’s sister Surpanakha and her misdeeds, how she manipulated everybody. (They are all Indian mythological characters from the epic Ramayana) Being Indian I have read and heard about this story, about how bad Surpanakha was. But the author has written this book giving a new perspective to the evil character whom we are accustomed to dislike from time unknown.
I thought it was very brave on the author’s part to dedicate an entire book on a negative character, stating the fact that we Indians take our mythology very seriously and we are very touchy when it comes to our history. I was impressed by the writing style and the character formation, the plot, how the author wrote the story from the character’s side without compromising the story itself.
The book did make me see that the negative part isn’t that bad, if we just stop whining over it. We can make success based on the negative part of life. It’s the risk that makes it all worthwhile. I am so in love with that book. I will be reading other books. Writing this post is my first step to get over the book hangover that I am facing. But this book has definitely made it to my list of favorites.
For any book lover it will definitely be an annoying part when someone asks them, “Oh! So you read, what book you recommend?” this question annoys and scares a book reader the most. The reason is that reading is a private matter to us. It’s a part of us. Asking us to recommend a book is asking a personal question as a book can reveal a lot about a person. Also we fear that if we do recommend a book and the other person does not have the same or even similar experience with the book, it will break our heart.
So writing about a book I have enjoyed so much and the fact that this book caused a hangover for me is a big risk for me. Because even if one person based on my article reads the book and does not like it might be a bad experience for both of us. But I would just let you all know that this has entirely been a personal experience and I have written about my views.