Laptop fired up. Spectacles perched on the nose. Deep breaths taken. Mind cleared. But no words come out.
Thinking about what topic to write on. Since I started writing the blog, I’ve had people come and tell me it’s so cool. No, not because of the creativity or voicing my thoughts; but because they think it’s so easy. It is thought that it is easy to be a writer. What does a writer do? Sit at home; Sleep; Eat and be merry; put up the legs on the table and write. That doesn’t sound that difficult, now does it? Whereas others are stuck in a 9 to 5 job. Well let me just tell you, it’s not as simple as it looks.
Technically I am not a full-time writer. I had a job that I enjoyed. It was fun. It was a typical 9 to 6 job but some days I spent almost 10 to 11 hours there. Somehow I am now at a stage where I had to leave the job and have some spare time on my hand (6 to 8 months mostly). I can’t begin to say how much I dread it. But well, no option! So it all started then, everyone started saying you’ve got time, pick up writing as full-time. “It’s so easy,” they all said. But what they don’t get is, if I don’t have anything to do, no activity, how am I going to get ideas/topics to write about?
Also then I am not a well-established writer. I am just taking baby steps at it. It’s just what I started to do because it made me happy. So now with nothing to do all day long, I have drained all my creativity. All that is there is bottled up anger. A writer gets inspiration from happiness, depression, imagination and anger as well. But this anger has given me writer’s block.
Writer’s block is when the writer wants to write but is unable to. My block comes from the point that I come from a country that easily get offended at pretty much everything. India is a place where most things are run on basis of one question only, “Duniya wale kya kahenge?” (What will others think about us?) Then comes the people i know – family, friends and acquaintances. What have you written? Why did you voice it publicly? And so on and so forth. Whatever topic I think of writing now comes from my anger and then I have to ask myself will somebody reading my post be offended? What will my family have to say? So my writing goes down the drain. The bottled up anger leads to inner frustration which ultimately shows in my behavior. I am angry at everything and every person. It’s a very unhealthy way of living.
Well I don’t want to stay that way anymore. I will write to my heart’s content and about the topics that make my heart sing. Maybe I’ll be the field of sunflowers or the deserted alley. Maybe I’ll write about happy topics or on dark twisted plots. I’ll give my heart whatever the hell it desires. I am forever more blocking this writer’s block.